Take What You Ask For!!

Hey Spanko People!!! Miss Welts here!!!

So I have been just puzzled by something the last few days and thought I would share my opinion. I know a lot of people that contact me to have a spanking relationship with Jon and/or I look at the blog first so maybe it will help them wake up some.

You’re a consenting adult? You want to be spanked? You want to be held accountable? You fantasized about this? You need this?

Then why don’t you man/woman up and take what you ask for? Why must you fight and brat every step of the way?

Let’s start with this. Most know that I am into this lifestyle for the pure disciplinary aspect. I am not into the fetish and sexual side of things. While with the right people I will make their personal fantasies play out, it’s not something that is my main focus.

I was born and raised being spanked from literally like age 2?? I grew up with the feeling that if you do the crime then guess what, take what you earned and take it as an adult. Even as a kindergartener being spanked in school with a huge paddle, I knew what that meant. It meant bending over and taking the 5 swats I had coming and not fighting, complaining, etc. This ethic has run my life ever since. I have been in consensual spanking relationships since I was 15 and I have never once refused said no about being punished in any form. I am not saying that I didn’t cry, or hate the whole experience. But I knew what I was asking for by misbehaving.

In the consensual relationships, this theory is even more important. You want to be punished. You find a spanker and you discuss everything, and I mean everything! More than you would ever tell anyone else, we know each other’s secrets and desires, know what makes each other tick, it’s a great relationship if taken care of properly. After you invested all this time building the trust and the relationship why would you send mixed signals? Why would you do anything to mess it up?

What I am talking about is simple. I had some people contact me over the years and including within the last few days, they tell me what they want and what they want to work on. We discuss details and so forth. Then I try to help evaluate the situation in order to put in proper guidelines so that the bad actions can be preventable. What do some do? They try to justify their actions? Why would you contact someone needing discipline if you believe you are right in what you do? Obviously, something isn’t working so why justify it?

Another pet-peeve I have is why try to get out of punishments? I am constantly seeing people try to figure out what they can in order to make the spanker either not realize they did something wrong, or bribe or trick them into letting the situation go. You will never learn anything besides how to be a manipulative brat. That just destroys any work your spanker is trying to put into helping you. It’s a vicious cycle and a lot of people get hurt.

Then there are the moments when a spanker gets ready to carry out a punishment and the spankee wants to “top from the bottom.” If you have gone through the process slowly and prepared everything then the spanker is well prepared to handle the situation. All your limits have been considered. I am not saying if your limits are being violated not to speak up and stop it. I am talking about the ones that just want to try till that last second to change the situation. You agreed to accept punishments so its time to accept them.

It is something that I even have to deal with when punishing Jon so I know it’s a hard habit to break. Just spend time trying to figure out what exactly you want. Do everyone a favor and only go into a situation your ready to accept.

I understand that punishments suck, they hurt, they aren’t fun. But they are not supposed to be. You wanted to learn, grow, improve. So allow those around you to help. There are way too many people who are looking for actual help but those that want to help are too occupied with those that are not serious enough and its causing good people to go without. No one likes their time wasted.

Take your time before entering any situation and make sure its what you want and you both are well aware of what is to be expected from the other. Yes, a spankee can have expectations from a spanker. If a spanker can’t live with those expectations or limitations then its time to find someone who will. Its a complete relationship of giving and take. So start taking what you deserve!!

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Everyone Starts Somewhere!

Hey Spankos!!!! Miss Welts here!!

Having a crappy night full of pain and inability to sleep. I was reading Jon’s post about starting out and it inspired me to add some of my own information.

I get asked all the time, “How did you get started?” I don’t know if I ever got started per say, I never really had to. Unlike Jon I was spanked from the age of at least 2 until I was a pre-teen. There isnt many people in my life that did not get the chance to spank me growing up. Babysitters, parents, grandparents, teachers, principals, and troop leaders….im sure I have left others out. Spanked for missing a shot in the big basketball game? Yes I had that type of coach. It was just how it was in my childhood. I can’t and quite frankly do not try and explain it.

Given that I was always disciplined for even the smallest transgression I could not go long without it. It seems after spanking wore off and my parents then found themselves without a plan and just turned off and decided to never punish me again. No grounding or the sort. Actually, I take that back they did ground me one day….my sister ran away and I was the one grounded….yeah.

****My PSA, if you are under the age of 18 Please for one exit this site, and two never follow what I did.****

When I was 15 I was tired of getting away with everything and started to search out on my own. I guess its where you can say I finally realized I was a spanko. Though let me tell you its hard not to realize it when your bent over your hot male babysitter’s lap and he is busting your butt because you did something on purpose just to get spanked. We aren’t here to discuss that now!! I did some research and learned that my best friend was a spanko.  I wound up dating several guys who either were spankos or I at least got them to go along for the ride.

Eventually I started venturing out and spanking others and met a lot of people that way.

Here are a few things I have learned along the way, hope they help!

1. Everyone was new at some point. Ask questions, don’t be afraid of the “pros” or those that seem to have all the experience. We all received and given our first spankings before. It takes years to build the strength to handle a tough session. It also is equally as hard to give a proper spanking.

2. Don’t be afraid to suck!!! Okay so that first spanking you cried with the first hand spank? Thats fine!! You couldn’t swing the paddle hard enough? Okay! There is always next time. Don’t let your fears of not being good and not being able to handle it stop you from experiencing this side of your life.

3. Say No!! You can say no, it does not matter if your the spanker or spankee. If you do not like how the spanking is going say so. Many times as a spanker I have refused to continue on because I did not believe where it was going was beneficial to the spankee.

4. Speak UP!!!! Do not leave a comment unsaid. It might take the fun out of that first spanking but if you want it to happen tell the spanker BEFORE your session. Your likely to forget in the excitement of the moment and you do not want to miss out on valuable chances. Also knowing exactly what will happen can put the spanker and spankee both at ease going into the session.

5. Make some noise!!! I hate hearing people talk about how they are so afraid to spank because of noise in hotels and so forth. Don’t be!! Your a consenting adult and have every right to do what you please in the room you pay for!! Now im not saying make people think your being murdered! Worst thing that will happen is a cop will show up and you both have to admit your doing a consensual spanking and all is well!! I have personal experience with this and its kinda embarrassing but funny!

6. Don’t take it all off!! Are you not comfortable with nudity or would feel comfortable with your panties on? There is nothing wrong with that!! I will say its easier to judge how the spanking is going based on actually seeing skin but its a personal preference. Make your feelings known ahead of time! But are you like me and a body is a body? By all means take it off and get going!!!

7. Give Feedback!! Some spankers do not like talking during the spanking and that is fine. But if it does not hurt enough say something, if you don’t like a position, be heard. At the end of the spanking or sometime later tell the spanker what you thought. What worked, what didn’t. It will only benefit you in the long run to be able to only use what works for you.

8. Breathe!! This is something Jon forgets quite frequently. Breathe!! I know its stressful, it hurts, it gets hot. But you have to breathe. If you tense up and forget to breathe it hurts far greater than it should. Take a moment and breathe. If it is going too fast ask for it to slow down. Stay as calm as possible to take in every moment of the experience!!

9. Don’t worry about others!!! Afraid someone will know? Afraid someone will out you? Don’t be. Most of my highschool knew what I was doing and guess what? It didn’t change a thing in my life. If someone finds you on these online boards then they would have to explain why they themselves were on the site!! What you do as consenting adults is perfectly fine and legal. Don’t let anyone make you afraid to be yourself!!

10. HAVE FUN!!!! You only get each spanking once. Enjoy it, or loathe it, or fear it. But just be in the moment and take it for what it is. Punishment or fun, learn from it and take the time to actually soak it in!

Anywho, Thats enough rambling tonight!!! Sleep Well Spankos!!