Hey Spanko People!!! Miss Welts here!!!
So I have been just puzzled by something the last few days and thought I would share my opinion. I know a lot of people that contact me to have a spanking relationship with Jon and/or I look at the blog first so maybe it will help them wake up some.
You’re a consenting adult? You want to be spanked? You want to be held accountable? You fantasized about this? You need this?
Then why don’t you man/woman up and take what you ask for? Why must you fight and brat every step of the way?
Let’s start with this. Most know that I am into this lifestyle for the pure disciplinary aspect. I am not into the fetish and sexual side of things. While with the right people I will make their personal fantasies play out, it’s not something that is my main focus.
I was born and raised being spanked from literally like age 2?? I grew up with the feeling that if you do the crime then guess what, take what you earned and take it as an adult. Even as a kindergartener being spanked in school with a huge paddle, I knew what that meant. It meant bending over and taking the 5 swats I had coming and not fighting, complaining, etc. This ethic has run my life ever since. I have been in consensual spanking relationships since I was 15 and I have never once refused said no about being punished in any form. I am not saying that I didn’t cry, or hate the whole experience. But I knew what I was asking for by misbehaving.
In the consensual relationships, this theory is even more important. You want to be punished. You find a spanker and you discuss everything, and I mean everything! More than you would ever tell anyone else, we know each other’s secrets and desires, know what makes each other tick, it’s a great relationship if taken care of properly. After you invested all this time building the trust and the relationship why would you send mixed signals? Why would you do anything to mess it up?
What I am talking about is simple. I had some people contact me over the years and including within the last few days, they tell me what they want and what they want to work on. We discuss details and so forth. Then I try to help evaluate the situation in order to put in proper guidelines so that the bad actions can be preventable. What do some do? They try to justify their actions? Why would you contact someone needing discipline if you believe you are right in what you do? Obviously, something isn’t working so why justify it?
Another pet-peeve I have is why try to get out of punishments? I am constantly seeing people try to figure out what they can in order to make the spanker either not realize they did something wrong, or bribe or trick them into letting the situation go. You will never learn anything besides how to be a manipulative brat. That just destroys any work your spanker is trying to put into helping you. It’s a vicious cycle and a lot of people get hurt.
Then there are the moments when a spanker gets ready to carry out a punishment and the spankee wants to “top from the bottom.” If you have gone through the process slowly and prepared everything then the spanker is well prepared to handle the situation. All your limits have been considered. I am not saying if your limits are being violated not to speak up and stop it. I am talking about the ones that just want to try till that last second to change the situation. You agreed to accept punishments so its time to accept them.
It is something that I even have to deal with when punishing Jon so I know it’s a hard habit to break. Just spend time trying to figure out what exactly you want. Do everyone a favor and only go into a situation your ready to accept.
I understand that punishments suck, they hurt, they aren’t fun. But they are not supposed to be. You wanted to learn, grow, improve. So allow those around you to help. There are way too many people who are looking for actual help but those that want to help are too occupied with those that are not serious enough and its causing good people to go without. No one likes their time wasted.
Take your time before entering any situation and make sure its what you want and you both are well aware of what is to be expected from the other. Yes, a spankee can have expectations from a spanker. If a spanker can’t live with those expectations or limitations then its time to find someone who will. Its a complete relationship of giving and take. So start taking what you deserve!!