I have a question for everyone. What do you fear? This is a question that I ask anyone who I take on a discipline relationship with. Not to be sadistic but it is an important realization that a spanko can come to.
Now I am sure we all have fears. For instance, I am terrified of heights, you will never see me ride a zip line or sky dive! I have an irrational fear of talking to people I don’t know on the phone. Thats just some of the starters! But we are not here to talk about the vanilla world so lets get down to basics.
What are you afraid of spanking wise? I want to stop here and say if you tell me you are afraid of a person, please get out of that situation. If you are afraid for your personal safety then I don’t care what side of this lifestyle you fall under, even the most dominate person should have your best interest at heart. If you tell me you are afraid of the person or punishment because you physically get hurt. That is not a spanking that is abuse and please get help. We have limits for a reason and they should always be known and respected.
Now it is okay to be afraid to upset someone, it is okay to fear the spanking. It might be an implement you fear, the pain, the disappointment? What is it?
I will start off! I don’t fear pain. I live in pain, there has yet to be a spanker who has made me fear the pain I will receive. Honestly, if you go long enough with me I go into sub space and just get the best sleep ever. If you don’t go hard enough I don’t feel it a hour or two later! Pain is just a sensation to me. I have always been in more pain and I know it passes.
I am motivated by the fear of upsetting someone I care about. For me to allow you to punish me, I have to care about you and what you think. So I will feel bad if I let you down. This is a two way street though. The spanker has to give a damn for why they are punishing you! If you don’t care enough that I let you down then quiet frankly I don’t care enough to do what you ask!!
Now lets talk about my big fear! Belts! I know this will surprise most of you since I do love leather. This goes back a long way, and for me to actually fear it a lot has to be in place. This was always the best way to get to me. I have always been privileged to have a lot of tools at my disposal. But honestly nothing got to be as fast as a belt. In the relationship that this became a staple for me, he would spank me with anything else under the sun, but would never take his belt off to me unless I really deserved it. What this allowed is me to have a constant reminder that he is paying attention to what I am doing. It gave him a constant reminder every time he took his clothes on and off his commitment to me. It gave me the comfort of knowing that he paid attention to everything I did and judged everything individually and didn’t just start spanking me. It also allowed me to know exactly where his limits and my limits were.
Now I can relate my fear and interest in belts back to my upbringing because that is what my dad used, and probably has something to do with that. Though I try and not base my life now on what happened then.
Over the years the belt has became just another toy and honestly that is the biggest disservice to me. It does me no good if it is just brought out for any reason.
I bring this up because I want you to think about what you fear and why! What can you do to help yourself? If you want to do better you really should look about an implement, position, etc that you really fear. That should be saved for the real punishments you need.
I know personally I need to re-evaluate the use to the belt in our house. I brought straps for this very reason. So I have my leather but I don’t have to use that specific piece of equipment until it is warranted.
I will go over why I don’t feel pain and more information about pain thresholds and improving them in a later post!
What do you fear? What motivates you to do better?
Till Next Time!