Self Spanking 101: The Mind!

Hey Spankos! Ms Welts here! I know its been a long time! I have been taking a break from fetlife, message boards, and chat rooms for the last few months. I need a nice long break. We have a huge life change coming soon and while I am excited I am also overwhelmed! I am working extremely hard at my own business, and since I make everything by hand, do all the sales, pictures, online work, emails, etc. I just don’t have the energy to handle all the other sites right now! We will be making huge changes to this site soon and I hope you are as excited as we are!

Now about the title, Self-Spanking!!!!!!!

This is a highly asked set of questions, and a very common situation that nearly every spanko finds themselves in at one time or another in their life. Lets be honest, even in a relationship, spanko or not, you do think about it from time to time. Draping yourself over the side of the couch and spanking your bare butt until you can’t stand it?

Then there are those who are not in a spanking relationship, this becomes even more important.

Don’t go grabbing your hairbrush and start spanking just yet! Lets talk about ways to make your self spanking more fulfilling!

First lesson is about the mind! You want to be in the proper mindset to make it meaningful. Spanking is not as easy as people portray it in the movies.

Start out with a good, long, hard, discussion with yourself. Ask yourself a few questions!

1. Can you handle spanking yourself? Are you able to spank yourself? Not everyone is capable of self spanking! Do not feel bad if you can’t do it. You are human and we all approach things differently.

2. Do you have proper alone time to handle a spanking?

3. Do you have proper implements to use in a spanking? We will discuss this more in an implement blog. Some can use their hand and make it hard enough, others can not.

4. Do you want to do discipline or erotic self spanking? There is a huge difference from start to finish!

5. Are your motivations for trying self-spanking in the right place? Are you just trying to get spanked to be spanked? Or are you ready for taking this step in your spanking lifestyle?

6. Are you being forced into self-spanking? Self-spanking is used a lot in online relationships. If this is not something your comfortable with but a “Top,” “ER,” etc forcing the issue? Stop!

After you have had time to question what you are doing lets go over a few things to prepare!

Step 1: Deciding you need a spanking. So you have earned a spanking? Think about why you have earned the spanking. Have you been getting bad grades in college? Have you been lazy at work? Have you been mean to others? Not doing your chores? Tisk Tisk….you need a spanking. So figure out why it is that you are getting your spanking!

Step 2: Write it down! Start a journal or notebook. Write down what you have done wrong, and assign yourself a punishment. Make sure it is something you can handle and you better make sure that it is hard enough!

Step 3: Timing! Make sure you choose a time to deal with your misbehavior. Remember that spankings can be loud and you want to make sure that it is a time where no one will hear what you are doing!

Step 4: Location! Location! Location! The location of your spanking is very important, we will talk more about this in the position blog but you want a location where you can be comfortable enough to be able to reach around and handle this discipline!

In the next lesson we will discuss implements. I will show you some things that we use and where you can get some good self-spanking items!

Thank you for all the support spankos!

Ms Welts

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R E S P E C T!

Now if you just read the title to this post and automatically got “that song” stuck in your head, I do apologize.

However, I feel after lurking around social media, on sites like Fetlife and Tumblr, I’ve come to the conclusion that for some people in our community, respect is nothing more than a word.

Now what do I mean by this? Am I trying to start petty drama because someone hurt my feelings on some forum? No, absolutely not! What I’m trying to say is there are people in our community who have somehow lost all sense of reality and treat others with no sense of respect. They think it’s okay to treat people like they are some object, piece of meat, or as just meaningless words on a screen that don’t have any feelings. What they fail to realize is these people in our lifestyle and community are not just individuals who are brave enough to bare their souls to random online strangers on our kinky forums, but they are human beings as well.

Unfortunately the majority of this disgusting behavior comes from my fellow men and is  usually directed towards young females, but of course this isn’t always the case. I’ve seen women display this utter lack of respect to their fellow kinksters as well. But why is that? What makes this type of behavior okay? Are people really that careless about the feelings of their fellow men and women or are they just trying to get some sort of rise out of them?

I do know that some people out there think that disrespecting or degrading another online is somehow funny and think their victims or others around them should participate in their laughter. Personally, I think it’s ridiculous when people think disrespect of that sort is funny in any way. It comes down to the age-old adage of “walk a mile in their shoes”, and ask yourself how you would feel if someone online made a disrespectful comment about you. I’m sure you would think it’s hilarious right? Probably not.

Now some of you would (hopefully) say “but Mr. Welt’s if I’m being disrespectful by the things I say, what should I say instead?”, and that’s an excellent question! However, instead of coming up with ways to be a polite and charming member of the online community, my friend and 2014 Spankingblogg Spankee of the Year Winner Alex Reynolds has already done an excellent posting that addresses that very topic. You can read about it at her blog here:

http://alexinspankingland.blogspot.com/2014/02/how-to-comment-politely-on-kinky-photos.html

Thanks for your time today and remember to always treat each others how you would want to be treated, with dignity and respect. Stay tuned as I have a fairly large announcement coming up about some big changes that are about to be happening in my life and hopefully for this blog as well. Have a spanktastic weekend!