I finally got some sleep so I wanted to take a moment and add to the post I did yesterday. I get asked all the time about red flags and warning signs, so I believe there is never too much discussion about this topic.
#1 If you are asked for more then your first name at any time.
#2 If you are pressured into giving your “real” name when you go by a screen name instead.
#3 You are asked to send pictures. You never have to exchange pictures, especially not at the start of a relationship, so anyone rushing you to send pictures…RUN
#4 You are asked to Skype. If you do not know someone and they automatically want to Skype or other video chats, approach this carefully. It is not required.
#5 They ask for phone numbers. You can easily be tracked by your phone. NEVER give it out until your comfortable with someone. Always be cautious!
#6 NEVER give out your address unless it is to someone you know.
#7 Safewords–if they won’t let you use one……RUN!
#8 They believe that after a spanking you should pleasure them sexually……..only if you are interested in this aspect. It is not required. A spanking hand is not connected to a penis, you don’t have to blow up the spanking hand!
#9 Someone tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM community.
#10 Someone will avoid talking about personal details and/or get mad when you ask or quickly end the conversation or answering questions with questions.
#11 Have no references or friends you can talk to. Yes we all start somewhere, but everyone usually has someone they know!
#12 If someone gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them.
#13 If they always find excuses for not meeting real time.
#14 Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts.Or does not even allow you to have limits!
#15 Swear undying love before even meeting you.
#16 Uses their D/s or other authority and says that their authority should not be questioned.
#17 If they happen to lose control of their emotions in arguments and regress to yelling, name-calling and blame.
#18 If they tell you that you will ruin your reputation if you leave them.
#19 If they will not discuss what your possible future relationship could be like.
#20 if they do not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions.
#21 Threaten suicide or other forms of self-harm, if you leave them! You can not be held responsible for what someone does and never should be guilted into a relationship!
#22 If they want control of your money or finances and you are not living together.
#23 If they ONLY interact with you in a kinky or sexual manner as if role- playing. Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.
#24 Have multiple online identities for interacting within the same communities
#25 Expect complete submission from a stranger. Have you gotten messages expecting you to just automatically trust and submit? RUN!!!!
#26 Get upset with you about wanting to make a safe call on a first meeting. Someone ALWAYS needs to know where you are!
These are some of the top ones. I am going to share a couple experience stories I have gone through, hopefully that will help as a warning to others!
What would you add?