MissWelts here! This post is a surprise for Jon for our anniversary. I have struggled with what to write but as I sit here on the morning of my 6th wedding anniversary I am ready to speak out.
There are a lot of stories out there about what happened and frankly the full story is only known by a handful of people who would never tell anyone. So I caution you to not believe everything some…ahem…people…are saying!
With that out of the way lets get started. About me? I am a lifelong spanko. I started spanking and being spanked as an “adult” at 15. I am now 27 and can say I have learned a lot and I am thankful for what I do know.
Little did I know the thing that started my marriage would almost end it and then save it all.
Jon and I met online in a spanking chatroom. How things progressed from that is kinda a blur but hey that’s not the reason we are here today. Our marriage has not been easy. We have been plagued by heartache and gone through more then most people our age are subject to. I was by his side as he lost both his parents, he was by my side and still is as my mom’s health has been going down. We have lived through two military deployments. Now I didn’t say that we made it through without a lot of battle scars and pain. The only thing that matters at this point is we made it through.
Now Jon posted a cryptic message a couple weeks ago. To most it probably made no sense. To me it meant a lot. It’s true Jon lived a “double life” for many years of our marriage. To clarify he never “cheated” on me, there was never any physical contact with anyone. Any physical contact I always knew about, and was always consensual spanking. Yes there was a lot of talk and pictures back and forth. I will not be making excuses for him, that is something I have done for years.
Marriage is a bond of two people, if your facing problems in your marriage it is easy to point the finger at your spouse. Look at your hand, there are more fingers pointing right back at you. No one just does things, there are reasons. You want your spouse to change? How can you change?
I have not been innocent by any means. I would find the pictures, emails, chat logs, and so on. I would yell, scream, throw a fit. We would “make up” and I would move on. Jon wouldn’t move on. We went like this time and again for years. Anytime we would fight I would remind him of his previous transgressions in anger and never let him forget it. He would stop doing those things for months at a time but when the urge got to much to handle he would go back.
So here I was, I found some emails and such again. got mad, I got upset. i was ready to announce my divorce to the world. I read the emails over and over to the point it was making me physically sick. All along Jon was in the field for training. I was watching one of my favorite movies, “The Marriage Counseler,” by Tyler Perry on a constant repeat as I read the words that I have seen so many times.
In the play there is a beautiful song about reading between the words and between the actions. That the spouse is trying to tell what they want and need. So i started looking at the words, not as hurtful to me, but what was he saying. What has he been saying all along? He was looking for something. I went out on search inside myself and the years of our marriage to find what I was missing.
We were told some simple words in a marriage retreat at the start of our marriage to remember “divorce is not an option.” Now if it came to the point that was the option I knew I would be at peace, I was not. So I searched. I came to the answer that has been right in front of me the whole time. My husband wanted to be spanked.
Now I’m sure everyone is scratching their head at this revelation. Yes we met in a spanking chat room. But as time goes on, life gets in the way and well you forget the basics. My husband wasn’t searching for a new wife, he was searching for someone to take control so he could be himself. After working all day, coming home to me and my health issues, he just wanted to let go. Instead of opening up to me he went around the wrong way.
I felt good about my theory and wanted to test it. A male disciplinarian who he has met with before, with my knowledge, was already coming to town the following week. I talked to “Al” about what I wanted. I wanted to see him hurt, I didn’t want revenge but I wanted to see him break. I gave Jon the choice, he had to take whatever Al gave him or else he could pack his bags and we would be over.
We arrived that night to his hotel. I witnessed things I never thought I could handle. I was upset, it was hard to see my husband who I love hurting. It was about us the entire time. I was able to scold him and tell him how the things he was doing hurt me. I was able to see the remorse in his eyes as tears fell. Not from pain but from actually feeling my pain.
I learned a lot that night. I still love Jon, I felt all that love as I fought back the urge to stop the spanking. I was also able to see the real Jon come out. The submissive one. We always have been switches but obviously it wasn’t working.
Now we have taken on new roles, I am taking more control in our house. Jon is getting spanked a lot. We also opened up communication. I didn’t know I was missing the mark because he wanted to do anal and humiliation punishments. He didn’t know that I have spanked nearly 100 people.
We are far from perfect and it will take years to rebuild. But I can say spanking has yet again sneaked into our lives and changed it.
This might not make sense to most but there is a lot of lies out there. I don’t care about the negativity about my decisions to stay in my marriage, they are mine and mine alone.
Thank you to those that have been by our side the last months and we love you!
You might never see me again, but you will hear about me and my paddle against Jon’s bare butt for years to come!