Long Distance Discipline?

So I pose a question for you guys, what are your thoughts on how to keep the discipline and the fun going in your life when you are separated from your Top or your bottom?

As you all know, I’ve been 10,000 miles away from home for the last 9 to 10 months and still have about a month and a half to go.  I would be lying if I didn’t say this subject hasn’t been swirling around in my mind for some time now.  So what works?  What doesn’t work?

I found that for some behavioral issues, they simply just can’t be ignored.  However, these issues would usually be taken care of with a good spanking or some other form of punishment delivered face to face.  What if this option isn’t available anymore?  Do you try to find some new way to attempt the discipline or do you just wait til you are face to face with your Top or bottom, and risk making the discipline seem more like a formality rather than seeking the actual discipline required?

Being over here, so far away from the real world, I really do miss being held accountable for my actions, and I truly miss the feeling of being looked after.  Sure, I have friends and family who are very supportive, but you know there is that different kind of support too that I’ve been lacking.  I wish I could open up to someone when I make a mistake and have them hold me to a certain standard, making sure I follow that standard and showing me those consequences for not holding up those standards.  I think that is what real love and Domestic Discipline is about.  I just wish I could have that feeling when away from home.

So does anybody have any thoughts on this subject?  I would say self-spanking might work, but in reality, we all know it doesn’t.  Maybe extended cornertime?  Maybe writing lines or essays?  Mouth soapings perhaps?  I would be really interested on what others have to think, because after 10 months, I’m still really stumped!

In other news, things are going well over here.  The night was quiet and slow work wise, but I got a lot done.  I wrote out some future blog posts, but a dent in my Tom Clancy book (my favorite author) and was able to actually go the full 12 hours without feeling drowsy!  It was almost miraculous! :)

Hope everyone is doing well, and stay tuned for more awesome content!


  1. Well, I really have no ideas. LOL I’m not into the discipline aspect of TTWD. It wouldn’t work for me in the first place. I told Dana the last time we met and she suggested her discipline program that I saw what I needed to do as my responsibility, not hers. She could see that. There is room for having someone to be accountable to, such as two people going to the gym together or if it is over a long distance, having conversations or writing emails to encourage one another. It is just like the “buddy system” that I’m sure you know about. We all need a buddy, a good friend who will help us and we help them, too.

    I remember seeing an interview with a man who survived the Bridge on the River Kwai building during WWII. He said the most important thing for any of the guys was to have a buddy. That, more than anything, kept them alive. If your buddy died, you had to get another one or you would likely die, too.

    It is all about support and accountability. It can be done over long distance and I suppose it can help if you have someone you can report to about the areas of your life you are concerned with. Sometimes, I think we just need to grow up a little and accept responsibility. It isn’t always that easy. I know. If you saw my office right now, you probably would say I need some kind of help one way or another. LOL

    I hope you find a way to deal with the things you are concerned about. This last weekend, I had special prayer for you in church. I will keep you in my prayers, too.

    Stay safe.


    1. Thanks so much for your prayer Bobbie Jo, that means a lot to me! You know, I totally agree with you here. I think having a buddy around is a great way to stay motivated and encouraged to keep up with things going on. I do love writing emails to my friends and family everyday but I rarely hear back from most people I write to. My biggest pen pals right now is definitely Dana and Sarah Gregory, they have been super supportive and always there when I needed to vent my frustrations from over here. Thanks so much for your input and I’ll definitely keep your thoughts in mind today. Have a good one!


  2. Good afternoon,

    First off let me say thank you for bringing this issue to my attention, and I’m sorry that this caused you and your friend grief. It was never my intention to steal anyone’s work and I also have several disclaimers on my blog stating that if I accidentally post something that infringes on copyright, I will happily take it down immediately, which I will do with those pictures on my blog and on fetlife right away. I will always try to give credit where credit is due and I apologize once again for the inconvenience.

    Very Respectfully,


  3. I’ve had to deal with a LDR before and it is far from ideal. However, there are some things that helped us with it.

    The first thing was very consistent communication. I called her just about every night. When I was on the phone I made sure to ask about everything that she was required to do, so that there were no lapses. The most damaging thing to a relationship is for one person to feel like the other doesn’t care. This is particularly important for subs. The discipline is how they know that their dom cares about them.

    Second, I gave a lot of corner time for misbehavior. Any misbehavior had some element of corner time or similar time-out experience to reinforce that the discipline would continue while she was away.

    Third, I assigned her punishments at the time they were earned. I had her keep track,and I did, as well. The actual punishment might have to wait, but the experience of earning it didn’t.

    And, finally, I also required specific things to be done while she was away. Some of those were standing orders, something that had to be done each day without fail. Others were things I assigned over the phone.

    I hope this gives you some ideas to work with and makes it a little more bearable!


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